Monday, November 8, 2010

Communication is the Foundation Stone to Any Relationship

Hi, This is not the easiest subject to talk about and I know it is not the easiest subject for me. My wife and I got married a few years ago and all was fine really. We love each other very strongly. One day I told her that I was actually gay. This sounds very blase but it is a very long story. Basically I have had suppressed sexual feeling for men all my life but I had always suppressed them to the point of not even thinking about it. One day last year it came up in conversation and I admitted that I liked men. We talked about this for many weeks and I finally admitted the truth to her and to myself. We went through a whole lot of emotions and even talked about separating if I needed to be with a man. I became for the first time in my life totally honest with another human being.

My point is that for the first time I communicated fully and openly with her in our relationship. I should have talked about my feelings before we got married but I did not really realise that I was gay. It was so suppressed in my mind that it became hidden from view and thought. If we had talked about it back then we would probably not have got married but talking about it has helped me come to terms with being gay. It is our communication with each other now that has kept it a level that can be coped with by both of us. We have a very deep love for each other that means we do not need the sexual side of our relationship.

It works for us and it is the constant communication and honesty that enables us to deal with things as they come along and it is this openness and honesty that is the fundamental foundation stone to our relationship. Indeed we have actually come through this testing and upsetting period with a deeper understanding of each other and a much valued respect for each other. We are actually a lot closer than we had been before.

I wish I had admitted this to myself and to my wife a lot earlier. Talking and fully understanding your partner is so absolutely vital to the health of any relationship. Communication is the key.

I am just an ordinary man with a newly found self awareness of himself and his wife. I would seriously commend to anyone to communicate fully with their partner even if it is not going to be easy. Openness and frank honesty make for a very freeing relationship and may even bring you closer together as it has for my wife and I.

Scott Allen Davidson

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